I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
