Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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