Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
