I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
