well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
