Please, let me fuck your mom
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im holly from the hills drunk
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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