He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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