That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
