Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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