I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
