Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
