Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
