i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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