I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
