I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
