last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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