Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
