A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
