What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
