I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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