The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
