First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
