you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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