Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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