Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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