Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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