Will you blow on my dice?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.