# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone