Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
