I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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