I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon