...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
