Plan B is the new Plan A
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
