i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she peed on how many people?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
