You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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