He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
