Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
