My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Please don't give away my fajitas
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