she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
