worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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