I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
