did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
they're like a gay fantastic four
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
