Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
