ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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