in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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