You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
