I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
