So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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