So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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