Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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