i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
