I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
