I want to have your abortion
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
