Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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