I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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