swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
