Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You left your phone here
Wait...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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