Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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