Plan B is the new Plan A
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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