how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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