Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
