And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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