shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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