My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize