your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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