11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
