Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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