its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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