I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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