Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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