No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
