Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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