He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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