So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
