Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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