He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
